A Nutty Affair

There was no food at home.

Before you take a guess, this isn’t a sob story. It’s one of those stories where I forgot to make the grocery list because I was busy watching the recent MI movie, not on TV.
The television had been acting weird for two weeks now; everything appeared upside down, the channels changed themselves. It seemed to be deciding for me as to what I should be watching, but I don’t take such flimsy dictates from rogue televisions so I unplugged it, forever.

So, there was no food at home. I had to feed the dog (you’ll hear about him soon) and myself. I called the husband, “Khana nahi hai ghar pe”.
I heard, “I’ll call you later”. Now, here’s the thing with these kind of men. They never define later for you. It could be fifteen minutes from the last call, a few hours, a few days.

I could see some wildly grown aloe-vera, some green chillies, and an unripe orange in my garden. The dog wouldn’t eat any of these, neither would I.
Luckily, I spotted two slices of bread and some milk, which I didn’t want to share so, I was looking for something edible for the dog. I spotted raisins and put some in front of him. He sniffed it and stared back at me, in disbelief (I am guessing). Also, who doesn’t like raisins?
Finally, I gave up the cartoned milk and settled for my magical bread toast.

The husband called “later” to ask if I had robbed Kamlesh aunty’s kitchen yet. He also informed that he was going to the city for some work and he would fling by a departmental store. I begged to come, he mercilessly refused. He wasn’t aware of my fascination for these well stocked up stores with neatly laid out varieties of everything you could think of.
The grief stricken me asked him to get three very specific yet readily available things.

He returned after a never ending wait and neatly laid out the treasure. There were pistachios, almonds, cashews, more pistachios, almonds, cashews, cookies with almonds, pistachios, cashews, chocolates with almonds pistachios, cashews, some Indian sweets with pistachios and almonds.

Thank God it stopped there. He also didn’t know that I absolutely detest dry fruits when mixed with chocolates, cookies and everything else. It spoils both the things, I think.
While I pretended to be thrilled at the sight of this unimaginable amount of food, I kept thinking about the deliciously red grapes, the rajnigandha sticks, and the kahvah I had asked for.



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