Do you know who wrote lullabies?
I know who didn’t.
Extremely exhausted mothers. They couldn’t have written such soothing beautiful words.
What they could have written is this:
That’s the fan you’re staring at…
That’s the air con-di-tion-er…
That’s the roo-oom heater….
Your mom is such an eater…!
One more time from the top!
I speak from personal experience. There is no way in hell i could sing “lalla lalla lori…doodh ki katori…” Nope.
Instead I have been singing:
I walk this earth again…
I’ll hunt you down
And I will eat your flesh!
Yes, those are my words. Yes, I sing these to my 8-month old. I have come a long way from not even attempting solitary singing to embarrassingly singing songs about a blood-thirsty carnivore in public. Of course, I throw in a Bachchan song from time to time.
So what I am rambling about today? Not really sure. All along i was sure that lullabies put your babies to sleep. They don’t. T-Rex gave me a death stare when I sang “Twinkle twinkle”, so i improvised and wrote my own. Ha!
I am not sure of anything anymore. T-Rex has recently been demoted to Tiger by the husband. Tiger, who is scared of pressure cooker whistles, tiger who loves to hear the story of Goldilocks again and again; Tiger who bounces his bum a little and sleeps some more at the sound of thunder.
To be honest, he is a fairly decent kid who farts on my face and chews my hair and picks my nose while I lose a little patience each day and call the husband, who hasn’t been around for a zillion years, to tell him that living in enemy territory is a lot better than getting your eyes gouged out, inch by inch every single day.
Ok, I am exhausted. Buh bye.